I feel guilty when . . .

. . . I take a nap.
Even though I know the reason I'm exhausted is largely because I'm pregnant and hauling around this extra weight all day, plus supplying nutrients for our precious girl, is tiring. Even though I know I won't get much sleep at all when baby girl comes and I should be enjoying it as much as I can right now, I still feel guilty.

Why?

Because I know Dan doesn't get one. He doesn't care if I take a nap and he doesn't get one {he doesn't even like naps}. In fact, he encourages it. He writes it on my to-do list. And yet, I still feel guilty.

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I feel guilty when . . .
. . . I buy a loaf of bread, some biscuits, a pie crust, pizza or any other such thing.

Why?

Because I know perfectly well how to make all those things from scratch. And it always tastes so much better homemade. Yet, even when the reason I'm buying is because I don't have the right ingredients {and can't get them} or I don't have the time, I still feel guilty.

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I feel guilty when . . .
. . . I don't call or visit my friends.

Why?

Because I love my friends and don't want them to think I don't appreciate them by never calling or dropping by to visit {if you are my friend and fall under this category, please know that I love you and some day will see a shrink to fix my problem and then you will get phone calls from me}. Even though I seem to have some kind of anxiety towards these activities {as in, it takes me hours or days to convince myself to call someone on the phone and when I'm dialing the number I sometimes go into a mini-anxiety attack and I frequently sigh with relief if the answering machine picks up}, I still feel very guilty.
{Note to anyone who ever calls me: for some reason, this doesn't really occur -at least not as intensely- if you call me. I can't explain why but it only happens if I am the one making the phone call. However, I won't guarantee that I'll be make a good phone-chat - I'm pretty much awful about talking on the phone.}

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I feel guilty when . . .
. . . I make decisions that are really the best for me and my family when it means I say "no" {or some other equivalent} to someone I love.

Why?

Because it means I say "no" {or some other equivalent} to someone I love! Forget that I know my decision is really best for me in the long run, I still feel guilty.

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I feel guilty when . . .
. . . I work too hard
. . . I don't heed my own advise
. . . Dan comes home and the dishes are still in the sink
. . . I don't work hard enough
. . . I read a book
. . . I get frustrated with people around me
. . . I never build my mind by reading a book

. . .

Golly
I just can't win