Valentine's Day gift-giving failure

I love Valentine's Day. Mostly I just like holidays. There is just something special about 'em {if you can, of course, get past all the commercialism}. But I do have one problem with Valentine's Day. It involves the buying of a gift for that "special someone" in my life - my hubby. It's not that I don't like buying gifts for my guy but rather that I hate the options available. Allow me to elaborate {please be aware that post is largely sarcastic . . . despite the fact that my frustrations are very real}:

Who came up with the idea to make Valentine's Day a "cutsie" holiday anyway? Sure, it's the holiday of love but since when did "cutsie" and "lovie" equal the same thing? I don't know about most guys out there but mine won't do much with the adorable stuffed animals and cute references beyond the actual day itself - it's like buying a gift for myself which just doesn't seem quite right. So nix most of the options available in the "holiday section" of the store.

I also want to know who decided that every holiday was a good one to sell tons and tons of candy? Seriously. If I opt to buy a lot of candy for my honey it's basically like saying, "I love you but I'm trying to put some fat on your bones with all of this chocolate." Yeah, that's a fun way to celebrate your holiday.

Of course, if you want to just throw away those cons and combine both ideas one and two, you could buy this gift basket. I'm "Toadally Yours, Hun!"

Now, you could do an internet search for that perfect gift idea . . . and you'll be bombarded with dozens and dozens of gift options - provided, of course, you are willing to spend more than $50 to get a "cool one". Let's just name a few, shall we? A couple of the cheaper options include these special tokens that your guy can carry around and redeem for special rewards like kisses, hugs and breakfast in bed. {I just gotta say that if your guy has to give you a special token to get a hug or kiss, there's probably a problem with the relationship that should be evaluated.} Another option is this awesome Nintendo Console System - but any woman who gets that for her guy for Valentine's Day just isn't in her right mind. How about going really groovy with the "roll away" alarm clock {get out of bed already!} or this fancy Swiss Army Knife - never mind the $55 price tag.

Even with all these options, I still wasn't quite satisfied with my options. So I read an article about appropriate gift ideas for your guy based on how long you've been together. They include options from 3 months to 3 years and beyond. For the section from 1-2 years together, they say you've officially crossed the line of "long-term commitment" so you can appropriately spend more on your guy {they give the fantastic sum suggestion of $100-$200 for your gift}. But my favorite is the 3 years and beyond category, since that's where we are. They say not to get him something practical because that's b.o.r.i.n.g. and you can't do b.o.r.i.n.g. for Valentine's Day! Go with something exciting, they suggest, like flying lessons. So I found this one-hour flying lesson for only $130 . . . never mind the fact that it's in Dublin.

Based on all the above information, I gotta get something special and exciting, not too practical, cutsie, or fattening, and I should spend $100-$200 for my gift so I don't tell my love that I'm cheap. I suppose that means that ignoring my once-in-a-lifetime chance to go to Dublin and instead going with the pocket sized flashlight and box of chocolates peg me as a Valentine gift-giving failure.