Stressful Parenting

All of these quotes were found in various places online but I don't remember where.

I recently read an article about parenting being stressful and a big cause of depression. It has really got me thinking about this whole parenting thing. In many ways, I do believe that I understand what the researchers were trying to get at with this new "study". I think they were trying to show that parenthood is a hard job. They probably wanted to prove that it isn't easy - that it probably never will be and to give some exacts to all of that. However, I also struggled reading it because it almost seemed like it promoted the idea that we should postpone - or put off entirely - having families. That the effects wouldn't be worth it somehow. Maybe I misinterpreted what the researchers were about. Regardless, though, of what they meant, I have actually come away from reading that article with a new found appreciation and love for motherhood.

Yes, being a mom is the very hardest thing I've ever done in my life to date. Every single day there is some new challenge, some new way I'm being pushed to a max.

I've done some hard things in my life. Just one example is attending college. I began going to college after being home schooled almost my entire life and not knowing much about how to study and almost never having been in an official learning environment of teachers and tests and textbooks and libraries and peers. I had to figure out a lot about myself, my study habits, my abilities, and how to work with people. I went year round, winter, summer, fall, taking 14-15 credits every semester, which semesters only lasted 13 weeks. Many of my classes were 1-2 credits but still required the work of a class that was 3-4 credits, which meant I had a lot of classes that required a lot of my time. I participated in as much as I could to get the most out of my education, including spending two semesters as a student conductor for one of the choirs on campus {which I loved!}. I went to school every single day by at least 7:30 am and went home between 5:30-6:30 every night, only to study for 3+ hours more when I went home. Plus, a few of those semesters, I put in several hours a week at a campus job. It was stressful. I was sick at the end of almost every single semester from pushing myself so hard and then I had to recover fast so I could start all over again. But it pales in comparison to being a mother.

Every day, my toddler throws something new at me by way of development and I have to figure her out all over again. Every day is the same thing, over and over and over - monotony doesn't begin to cover what most days could look like. There are early mornings, late nights, middle of the night wake-ups and I need to be ready at a moments notice when she needs me. There is cooking, laundry, cleaning, organizing, yard work. There are tantrums, screaming, potty accidents, unexplained problems. There are errands to be run, development to stimulate, social needs to meet, groups to attend, myriads of things to teach. There is personal growth, goals and nurture that "should" be accomplished every day, in addition to meeting essential spiritual needs, educational efforts that should be made, and balancing social desires. And all of that in just one day.

Perhaps I could say it is stressful.
Perhaps I could say that it is depressing.

But you know what? I keep doing it. Every single day. And you know why? Because I really do love every single minute of it.

I have found that, for me personally, parenthood is the most stressful when I'm trying to bow to what I perceive to be the expectations of me instead of focusing on the needs of my child coupled with the divine guidance God gives me when I'm asking Him for direction. I've discovered that I only get depressed when I forget what motherhood is really about - her, not me. When I start to focus too much on what I think I'm missing from my life, then sure, I could slip into a funk. But then Livie does something wonderful, something that pulls me back to my reality and reminds me what is really important, and I fall in love with my life all over again.

Because of all my hard work, I now have a Bachelor's Degree in Music Education. It was hard work. It was stressful. But I wouldn't trade that degree for a few years of "no stress".

In the same manner, I'll take whatever this motherhood thing throws at me because I know it's worth it. I know that something is really only worth it when it's hard.

Maybe that's why motherhood is so awesome.