I don't know about all of you, but having a weekly date with my hubby has always been a struggle. We would forget or we couldn't come up with anything to do. That last one has always been a big issue for us. We just aren't very creative when it comes to fun dates. So sad, I know.
The other problem we've had is that, when it was just us, we sometimes thought it was silly to go on specific "dates". Practically every time we were together was a date, right?
Wrong.
I realized that line of thinking was starting to get me annoyed and so I expressed my desire to Dan to be sure we actually used the word "date" when in reference to doing something together. So we got better about it - at least about the going, not the coming up with different and unique things to do. Our dates were predictable, but at least we were going on them.
Well, let me tell ya, having a baby really changes things in the dating department! We thought we had a hard time before . . . sheesh.
We typically alternate who picks the date every other week - we do this because I love surprises and I love it when Dan thinks something out for me. And since we have trouble coming up with things to do, this way we each only have to pick twice a month.
Pathetic, I know. But it works for us.
At least until recently.
As Dan pointed out for me yesterday: "It's hard to plan dates with a baby!"
The only date we've been on since our babe was born { and she's eleven weeks old!} was going to the drive-in movie theater. We caught two movies, got dinner there {which was a little ridiculous . . . won't do that again} . . . . . . . and took our adorable baby with us.
Yes, a date with me, my hubby and our baby.
You would think that wouldn't be a big deal, right? She should just sleep in her carseat and we can hold hands and enjoy our movies.
HA!
Funny joke.
She was awake almost the WHOLE time. And fighting me when she was supposed to be eating {that is the most recent and exasperating problem we have . . . fighting while eating . . . anyone else ever have that problem?} so she was making enough noise we often missed parts of the movie {for the first movie that wasn't a huge deal since I didn't understand hardly anything anyway. Wall Street 2 - the jargon was waaaay over my head!}. When she finally did sleep, it was only if one of us was holding her. *sigh*
Not exactly what a person envisions when they go on a date.
Now, don't get me wrong. I love my baby like crazy. I can't get enough of her. I miss her so much whenever I leave her with someone else.
But I also recognize the value in "having a break", so to speak. Having some me or us time, without our babe, so I/we can recharge.
Dan has been good about letting me recharge on my own when I need it. I've gone and done a couple things alone since she was born and I appreciate those times.
But I'm starting to really need some "us" time.
Without our baby tagging along.
Why don't we just get a babysitter, you ask?
I was thinking we were close to being able to really pull that off. And then she seemed to have gotten a little bug. It's made her crankier, more tired {even though she won't sleep . . . someone explain that to me!!}, more clingy . . . and think she has to eat more frequently.
Thus, it is difficult to leave her for very long.
BUT
Not to worry.
I'm going to leave her with a babysitter someday soon.
{I have a few sisters-in-law who have asked me when they get to babysit. They'll get their chance before very long, I think.}
Because I need some time with my hubby.
We might as well at least try. It's the not trying that makes it even worse.
And when we do finally go on a date again, I'm probably going to take my idea from this blog:
This is the cutest, funnest site!
Twelve women have banded together, coming up with fun, creative date ideas to help keep the spark alive in their marriages.
Some of their ideas are kinda corny different. . . but that's why I like 'em!
They are not the norm.
Yay to different!
All of their ideas are fun.
All of their ideas are fun.
I really think I can handle something other than the bland "dinner and a movie".
So, I'll be borrowing their ideas.
I'll get my date
and
my sisters-in-law will get to babysit.
I call that a win-win!
If any of you have fun dating ideas, I'd love to hear! I also wouldn't mind hearing how you managed getting "couple only time" those first few months after a baby is born. Or did you?
7 comments:
Boy! I hear you loud and clear! I feel the exact same way! It's definitely harder to go out when you've got munchkins, and I've been doing this for almost 6 years now! I too would be willing to babysit sweet Olivia sometime though! :)
We're fortunate because we live with Brian's parents...therefore we put him to bed at 7:30 and leave him to sleep while we get away. I know I'm going to miss doing this when we leave!
I remember David having a hard time eating like that. I was told that he may have been frustrated with the flow of my milk. I think he didnt' like working so hard. I fought him until 6 months then switched to bottle. Which I hated to do but it took huge stress of both of us!
We miss you guys! Great post!
Thanks for the link to date ideas! Adam and I are still really bad about going on dates, and when I complain he always asks what I want to do, which of course, I never have an answer for! As for getting time off, take advantage of that family you have nearby! We're loving being close to family right now. But also, don't forget that you can have time alone when Livie is sleeping, too! Even if you have a sink full of dishes or a mountain of laundry, spend some time with Dan- even if it's just 20 minutes! It's well worth it and your chores might go faster! :) I hope you guys figure out what works for you!
We can't wait to watch Olivia for you. Seriously, we would love to watch her lots. Please let us know so we can help you out a bunch while we live so close and it is convenient for you.
I've heard of other ladies who have had problems with their baby fighting at feeding time. A few said that having their baby swaddled while they ate helped. I don't know though. Good Luck!
Listen: when someone offers to babysit, just TAKE THEM UP ON IT! Seriously! I mean, if she's sick, fine, but if you don't leave her with someone just 'cause "she's a little fussier than usual" or because "she can be a handful" or because "well, they already have three kids to take care of" or whatever, you won't go. Believe me. I see it happen in my ward all the time. (Besides, it drives me crazy--REALLY CRAZY--when people say things like, "Oh, I don't know, she's a handful." Please. You really think you're the only person with a kid that can be hard to deal with?)
Okay, that was a bit of a vent. Sorry, that's just happened a lot over the past few months with friends of ours. Maybe it's just a little pet peeve.
One of our favorite things to do is make supper together at home. We look up a really cool recipe we've always thought would be fun to order at a restaurant or something but is too expensive and make it ourselves! We get to work together in the kitchen, and since we do it kind of late (after Madie's in bed), we have an excuse to turn out the lights and eat with candles. We don't do it all the time, just to keep it kind of a special thing, but it's a nice, kind of easy thing to do that gives you lots of time together.
i don't remember doing much when sterling was younger, but now we get together when he's asleep. once he's in bed we team up and get the chores done or pick up then we sit on the couch and watch something. or andrew will look at tools online while i read my book. when i had my surgery a few months ago, we left sterling for 6 hours and it did feel like we were on a date!
i will be expecting an update on your dates!
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