I was thinking earlier this week about how excited I am to graduate in December (the countdown is on . . . and can be seen in a box to the right on the side bar on this page!) and be all done with stress from school. I was getting even more excited as I recounted some of my experiences with my schooling thus far: going to school at 7am everyday, straight classes until 2 or 3 in the afternoon, studying and doing homework until 10pm or later and doing it all over again the next day (though I do have to admit that I have been a lot less stressed since starting student teaching ... that doesn't mean I'm any less busy, just less stressed). As I was thinking about this and how thrilled I am to be almost done with those kinds of responsibilities, I thought to myself, "Wait. Just because school is over it does not mean my stress level will necessarily be any lower."
I decided that a lot of my stress is probably self-inflicted and then I am frustrated that I am so stressed, so I find someone to blame it on. Certain things such as procrastination, too many goals or ideals or "good things to do", and trying too hard to please lots of other people besides myself all contribute to my stress level. Plus, I realized today that I take a lot of my tender mercies for granted and don't count them in when I am recounting the days' events. And really, as I'm thinking about it, some of my greatest life experiences have come from these college days. I've made the best friends, met the love of my life, learned so much about life, subjects, people and love that I could go on and on forever, built on my talents and discovered new talents I didn't realize were inside me, had spiritual experiences that go unsurpassed and unequaled, and served the Lord in ways that I may never had if I hadn't come here. I've learned about teaching, leading, music, power; I've seen people sacrifice to help me; I've learned a little of what it means to sacrifice; I've gained great respect and admiration for so many people that have changed my life in countless ways. I could go on, but I won't. I just realized that even though there were things that were frustrating about college, every one of those experiences have been sent from a loving Heavenly Father to teach me things I never would have learned otherwise.
And not only were all the stresses of college worth it, but just because I'm done with college doesn't mean stress ends. I'm hoping to be a mother someday (talk about the most stressful and time-consuming job a person could ever have!); I want to serve faithfully in my new calling; maybe I'll end up working somewhere eventually - basically, life doesn't end just because a person earns their bachelor's. And I'm glad. I'd probably miss out on a lot of important things if I chose to give up all my "stress" (though maybe I'll adopt the new word of "life" instead of stress ... it sounds less intimidating!). :D
1 comment:
Totally know this feeling - you think you'll be done with stress. Then you realize you're working 8 hours a day, without any little holes in between anywhere to fit in working out or getting errands done, and you have to cram it all in after work, which can lead to stress. What with institute, FHE, working out, and the weekend, I hit the sack at about midnight- still. As a lot of people would probably say, it's just different stress. I kind of like it more. :) But the school stress was worth it and I learned a lot, too.
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